


In the Broken Places

by IWasAlwaysDead



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Parenthood, Same-Sex Marriage, Separations, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28660977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWasAlwaysDead/pseuds/IWasAlwaysDead
Summary: L is institutionalized for his mental health and Light has to hold down the fort and take care of their daughter while he's gone.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 14
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this story after I got home from the hospital. It has been very cathartic for me to write.

Ellie climbed into her father's bed, worn out teddy in tow. Little lips trembled as her big eyes betrayed the monsters beneath her own linens. Her pajamas had words on them she could not yet read and held meanings she did not yet understand.

The warmth trapped beneath perfectly folded covers dissipated as it was forced to battle cold air. Ellie didn't care. Ellie didn’t know better than to wake a grown up who had _things to do_ in the morning _._ She didn't understand the concept of a career or paying bills. Ellie just needed her daddy.

Groggy and unable to see much more than a blond headed blur without his new glasses, Light pushed himself up just enough to get a glimpse at the night time imposter. “El's?” He asked, still wincing like it would do him any good. _Damn getting older._

Soft curls of hair brushed beneath his arm and Light turned on his side, arms open as he received his little girl. He smiled and tried not to laugh as she buried her face into her teddy. “Nightmares?” Light asked gently as he wrapped his arms around her.

She nodded, sniffled, then looked up at him. “When is daddy coming home? I miss him.”

Light didn't have an answer for her. “I miss him too.” The truth was that L might not be coming home this time. At least, not immediately. And while both Light and Ellie ached to see their family whole again, Light had to do right by their daughter. If L didn't get better… if treatment didn't work…

Divorce was an ugly word but maybe it was fitting _because_ it was ugly. Everything was ugly right then, Light thought as he held onto the only thing that made sense to him anymore. _Get better and come back to us,_ Light silently prayed as he kissed the top of fat curls and made his little girl feel safe again.

When her breathing changed from shallow to the deep, relaxed breathing known only to those in a comfortable slumber, Light finally relaxed his body and gave in to sleep too. Everything would be okay. It had to be.

***

Ringing phones twisted the pit of his stomach in a new way each time. He thanked God for caller ID and anti anxiety medication. And he thanked God twice for the toddler throwing oatmeal at his face, snapping him out of his mental panic. “Ellie! You silly girl!” Light laughed as he smeared the warm goo across his face. It was the closest thing to a facial he'd had in years. Light gave Ellie “the look" and she giggled sheepishly, holding her spoon to her nose as her plump cheeks turned bright pink. “Daddy is calling. If he is having a good day, I'll let you talk to him, okay?”

Ellie smiled and nodded and placed the spoon back in her bowl. She listened intently as her father accepted the call. She would know by the way her father spoke whether or not she'd get to talk to daddy today. Did he hang his head low? Worry his brow? Did he speak quietly and glance over at her, concerned she could understand what he was saying and knowing she was too young to hear it?

“Is Ellie there? Can I talk to her?” Were the first words out of L’s mouth.

“You have to talk to me first, okay?” It pained Light to say it, but he couldn't have L saying bizarre shit to Ellie.

“Oh, okay. I see,” L said quickly, quietly. Paranoia still laced his voice.

“L, do you know who this is?” Light asked, closing his eyes and hoping and praying L recognized his voice.

“Light?” He seemed unsure, over thinking the question and second guessing himself.

Light breathed out a sigh of relief, “Yes, it’s me. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. I don't know when I'll be let out,” L explained, slowing down in the way he spoke. “I'm sorry.”

“It’s okay, L. Just get better, okay? Did you get the clothes I sent you?” Light asked.

“Yes, I did. Thank you,” L paused, afraid of saying the wrong thing. “Will I be able to speak with Ellie today?”

“Sure, she's right here. Let me give her the phone,” Light said as he turned to their daughter with a big smile.

“Daddy!” She cheered into the phone. “Daddy I've missed you!”

“I miss you too sweet pea. Have you been nice to your father since I've been gone? You know he needs your help around the house since I'm not there.”

“Yep!” Ellie said cheerfully into the phone. “I put my toys away all by myself yesterday.”

“Wow, that's impressive, Ellie Belly! I'm so proud of you. What else have you been doing?”

“We painted pictures for you with our fingers. They’re on the fridge for when you get home.”

“I can't wait to see them,” L became quiet as a voice in the background mumbled something to him. “Hey baby I have to go now. I love you.”

“I love you too daddy,” Ellie said. L was cut off from saying anything more and the line went dead.

Light reached for the phone, counting down in his head from five. Just as predicted, Ellie burst into tears. Light lifted her from her high chair and comforted her. It was the worst feeling in the world knowing he couldn't do anything to help his little girl. “Sh, baby girl. Daddy will come home soon, okay?”

Ellie hugged her father and sniffled into his shoulder. “Ice cream would make me feel better.”

Light laughed. She was indeed her father's daughter.


	2. Help Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light gets some much needed help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize it said the work said it was complete 🤦♀️. I'm definitely planning a few chapters for this.

Exhaustion came in many forms. It looked like sleeping through alarms and an inability to focus. It felt like wanting to sit down with every step taken but knowing that if he did, Light would not get back up for the rest of the day. It was pushing through tears to do the bear minimum around the house. It was feeling winded going up stairs and leaving the house without keys or not having the mental fortitude to sit down and pay bills. Yes, exhaustion came in many forms.

Help, however, came in the form of one Sachiko Yagami. “Thank God you're here,” Light croaked out tiredly as he hugged his mother.

The petite woman glanced around the house. It wasn't like her son to be so disheveled. It wasn't like him to fall behind in house work. None of this was like him at all. “I'm glad I could be here, too. Now where is my grand baby?”

“She should be waking up from a nap any moment,” Light explained as he led his mom to the kitchen table.

She sat across from him and placed her aging hand over his. “I say this with all the love I have in my heart. Light, you look like hell.”

A husky laugh escaped him, “Thanks, mom.”

“Why don't you go lay down? Catch up on sleep. I'll straighten up the house and take care of Ellie when she wakes.”

They were the magical words he'd been longing to hear. With a wistful smile and a small nod, Light excused himself. It was so comforting to have his mother there with him. He felt like a kid again, home sick from school with his mother doting on him. He didn't have to worry about chores or Ellie or anything right then. Mom would take care of everything, just like she always did.

The bed felt more luxurious than usual as he slid beneath its inviting covers. Sunlight tried to peak in through the windows, but was unsuccessful. Nothing would interrupt this much needed slumber. The world could wait for just one hour. That's all he needed. One extra hour of sleep and he'd be fine.

Seven hours later, Ellie was quietly playing in her play room while Sachiko started dinner. The dishes were done, the laundry was folded, the counters wiped down, the furniture dusted, things put away, trash taken out, bathroom cleaned, Ellie bathed and changed and fed, and the mail brought in. Sachiko glanced around the house as she salted the water she was boiling. Satisfied with her work, she decided that after dinner she'd unwind with a glass of wine and some television.

“The house looks amazing,” Light said quietly as he staggered into the kitchen. He approached his smiling mother and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

She blushed. Anything for her dear boy, she thought. “Dinner will be ready soon.”

Light yawned and stretched and reached into the cupboard for a glass. As he absently poured himself some water, he tried to get the fog in his mind to clear. “It smells good. Tortellini?”

“With spinach and fresh veggies,” she said as she stirred the chunky sauce simmering on the stove.

Light glanced over and watched her cook. “Feel free to stay with us forever,” he joked.

Sachiko smiled and began getting out bowls to serve up the dish. She chopped Ellie's portion into tiny bite sized pieces and brought the dishes to the table.

Light grabbed a bottle of red wine and two glasses, meeting his family at the table. “We might as well polish it off. When L gets home we won't be drinking for a while.”

Sachiko nodded in understanding, still smiling sweetly. She felt so bad for her son, and she had gone through many emotions regarding his husband. Mental health wasn’t something the Japanese culture supported. Mental illness wasn't talked about, and there was a lot of shame surrounding it. Having been raised in a “just get over it" fashion, Sachiko struggled to not be angry with L. How could he be so selfish as to let himself spiral like this? How could he let his family down in such a way? It wasn't her place to assert her opinion, however.

As they sat down to enjoy their dinner, her thoughts about the situation continued. The United States seemed to handle things quite differently. From what she gathered from Light, L was in a very nice facility with lots of support and therapy to help him heal. It was very different from how things would have been handled in Japan, and maybe that was a good thing. She couldn't be sure. All she knew was her son was heart broken and it killed her inside to see him like this. He was her only son, her pride and joy, so of course she was protective over him. She didn't want to come between him and L, however. “Is L doing better? Do you think he'll come home soon?”

Light nodded and swallowed his mouth full of food. “Actually, yes. Ellie and I spoke to him on the phone yesterday. He sounded a lot better, didn't he baby girl?”

Ellie grinned, face covered in red sauce and fists full of broken pasta pieces, “Yes!”

Both Sachiko and Light laughed. Ellie was the one ray of sunshine in an otherwise grey world. It hurt Light to keep L separated from her. He knew how much they missed each other. Why did her favorite parent have to be the one who had a mental health crisis?

Light's phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out. “It's the hospital, please excuse me,” he said as he stood from the table and walked into the next room. “Hello?”

“Hi Light!” L said, sounding unusually cheery. “The doctor said I might be going home soon. Isn't that great news?”

Light's eyes filled with unexpected tears, “Yes, baby, that's great,” he lied. If he loved and missed L, then why was he full of anxiety at the prospect of his return?


End file.
